Linda's Soapbox
~~ Editorial by Linda Johnson

Just How Connected Are You To Your Computer?

Any of you who know me know how connected I am to my computer.  My more spiritual type friends tell me that I have an invisible cord that runs from the base of my brain to my Motherboard.  LOL  And I don't doubt this at all.

 Let me tell you a story:

About five years ago, when I was a bit of a newbie, but feeling like a sponge and truly glued to my computer, I had this experience.  I was a psychotherapist at the time, so I still had some thoughts in my head that weren't totally geekoid.  I was pounding away at the keyboard in my office/living room in beautiful Vermont when some friends dropped by one afternoon when I didn't have any clients scheduled.  So, we were just hanging out and I was sitting in my computer chair (one I owned before I learned how necessary that fifth spoke is on the base of these things) and I was kinda leaning back with my back to my computer/desk.  Now, I have this big ol' steel army desk that I will never part with.  (I'm weird about furniture this way.  Once a piece of furniture "fits" into my life, I like to keep it around.)  Anyway, my friend Paul said something funny and I think I laughed and leaned back and went too far back.....and BLAMMO! .....the back of my head hit that steel desk, and put a dent in the desk that makes it even harder for me to part with now.

Well.  Guess I got me a minor concussion that day.  But what a wild experience it was.  I lost my memory!!  Not my RAM....but MY memory.  I had no idea what day it was.  I knew people's names but couldn't comprehend why they were in my presence at that time.  I would speak a sentence, then COMPLETELY forget what I had just said.  They asked me who the president was and I said "George Washington, I think".  And it TOTALLY freaked me out.  I could feel uncontrollable panic rising inside me. 

Sooo....the shrink side of me kicked in and told me to have them feed me the data again so I could learn it all over.  Problem was, they would tell me who the President was, but I would immediately forget it again.  (Imagine forgetting Bill Clinton!  LOL)  I could see how scared they all were and this was making me worry more.  Of course, they wanted to take me to a hospital, but I was hell bent on fixing this myself. 

Then, something happened.  I started thinking like a computer.  Not intentionally, mind you, and I wasn't even aware I was thinking like this.  It was only later when my short-term memory returned that I knew this because my friends told me I was saying things like "I have to download that again."  and "I need to save that and remember where I saved it."    And, I do know, that once it started working and I was able to hang onto memories for more than two seconds, I actually envisioned this process in my head.  I could see the data coming in, going to it's proper folder and being saved.  LOL  What a trip THAT was!!  (Kinda like the geek's ultimate fantasy.)

And, even after this whole scarey event was over and I did eventually go to a hospital, I continue to think like this to this day.  No, I don't actually have visions of stuff going into folders, but the basic logic of my thinking has definitely changed.  And it leaves me surprisingly happy. Logic is good stuff.

So...anyone out there think they may be more connected to their computer than me, or do I win the prize?  Send me your stories.  I'd love to hear them and display them here for the readers.

Linda Johnson is a college instructor of all of the Microsoft Office Programs, as well as Adobe PhotoShop and Windows. She also teaches online distance learning classes in Excel, Outlook, PowerPoint, Publisher, and Word at Eclectic Academy. She has worked helpdesk and teaches and lectures at many local businesses and tech schools in her area. Support this newsletter by checking out Linda's eBooks, MS Word MAGIC!, Book I: Fonts, Fun & Formats and Book II: Table Wizardry, How To Get Started As a Software Trainer, and her newest series of MSOffice eBook Tutorials and CD