Linda's Soapbox
~~ Editorial by Linda Johnson

Nastiness on the Internet

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Nope.  This editorial isn't about pornography, though I do find that nasty.  This editorial is about the way people treat one another when they are protected by the anonymity of the Internet.  During this past month, I have seen a few instances where people have said really hurtful things to others that I seriously doubt they would have had the guts to say to them in person.

I belong to quite a few different email support groups where we help one another with computer problems.  There must be something in the air lately though cuz I've been seeing a lot of flaming and cruelty going on in these groups.  In one instance, it was directed at me and I can tell you this is NO FUN!

I sometimes wonder if some people get their kicks by hurting others, but they are too chicken to do it in the real world, so they hop on their computers at the end of the day and let it rip.  It sure seems that way to me, but I have to wonder why.  What pleasure can you possibly get from blasting someone in a public forum where no one REALLY knows anything about one another?  These people who join chat rooms or forums or email groups for the sole purpose of being egotistical blowhards are really starting to tick me off!  And I really bet you dollars to donuts that these same people live an existence where they get no respect so they think this is the way they will get it on the internet.  WRONG!!

I guess some of this happens because of the limitations of this form of communication (see my editorial on Why I Ruffle Feathers) and misinterpretations are so common.  But, I won't accept this as an excuse for downright rude behavior.  My feeling is, if it's not something you would say to a stranger at a cocktail party, then it's not something you should say to a stranger on the Internet.  Even though someone may not be "real" to you, they still have feelings and this stuff just plain hurts.  And where do some people get off thinking they have the right to judge others and play the "forum god"?  Geeesh, already.

Has the Internet become a place where we no longer need to have manners?  Is the Internet now a medium where we are truly allowed to say anything that pops into our head without concern for someone else's feelings?  IS CHIVALRY TRULY DEAD?

And, how do those of us who spend a large amount of our time in this medium deal with this?  If someone blasts you and you try to defend yourself, you are seen as defensive (well, duhhh).  If someone blasts you and you don't reply, you are left feeling like you've been slandered and had your reputation stomped on.  And then there are the members of these forums who feel it's their place to lecture you like you are children and tell you how to "behave".  DOUBLE GEEESH!  Where did these guys get their doctorates in psychology?  It is SO easy to preach to others when you ain't standing in their shoes.

So, I want to go on record as telling any of you out there that have even been the victim of this type of Internet abuse, that I hear ya and sympathize with how this feels.  I wish I could tell you how to let this roll off your back and not take it personally...but when it is a personal attack, this is really hard to do.

Here's all I can tell you, and how I handle this.  I have found if I really look at the behavior of these people, I have to feel sorry for them.  If this is how they get their jollies, then their lives are indeed sad.  Do I preach to turn the other cheek?  Nope.  That ain't my nature.  Do I tell you to get revenge?  Nope.  That's not something I believe in either.  All I can say is look at them for the pitiful slobs they are and be glad you ain't one of them.  The Internet should be a place where we learn....and we can even learn from these fools.  And the one thing I am learning the hard way is that if we let them hurt us, then they have succeeded in what they wanted to do. 

Let's be strong together.  I'm on your side....I assure you!

Have a great month and keep peace in your hearts.
Linda

Linda Johnson is a college instructor of all of the Microsoft Office Programs, as well as Adobe PhotoShop and Windows. She also teaches online distance learning classes in Excel, Outlook, PowerPoint, Publisher, and Word at Eclectic Academy. She has worked helpdesk and teaches and lectures at many local businesses and tech schools in her area. Support this newsletter by checking out Linda's eBooks, MS Word MAGIC!, Book I: Fonts, Fun & Formats and Book II: Table Wizardry, How To Get Started As a Software Trainer, and her newest series of MSOffice eBook Tutorials and CD

Readers' replies:

From Richard:  I once received some particularly vicious, malicious and insane emails from a guy: Simply because I asked to re-download a $20 program I'd purchased from him! As you know, the cyberspace world is just like the real one. You can't let these things bother you. Always remain calm, civil and polite--which is what I did with the character I mentioned, who was obviously a nut case. For me to fight back wasn't worth the $20 or the trauma connected with it. Anyway, you're doing a great job (and service) so hang in there and the reward will be that all of the straight and sane people will truly appreciate what you're doing. The others, unfortunately, have problems you cannot solve.

From DEL: dear linda, hurrah and amen for your soapbox article. like Aretha sez,  R-E-S-P-E-C-T. yeaah baaby..