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Linda's Soapbox
~~ Editorial by Linda Johnson

Computer Things That Go Bump in the Night

Being that it's Halloween time, I thought I'd write about Computer Ghosties and stuff we are supposed to watch out for.  I don't know about the rest of you, but my AV software has been working overtime this past month between the klez virus and the new bugbear.  Since I don't like automatic stuff in computers and prefer to make my own decisions, I have my AV set up to tell me when it detects a virus and let me decide how I want to deal with it.  Unfortunately, with my settings like this, I can't seem to get anything done lately cuz all I'm doing is telling Norton what to do. This virus stuff is getting TOTALLY out of hand.

Then, on top of this, since I do occasionally download some music from some peer-to-peer server type places, I'm now told that AV isn't enough and I need to use anti-trojan software too, since some of the trojans are not detected by the typical AV updates.  And, of course, we all need a good anti-spam program running to keep that kind of garbage out of our inboxes too.  Oh yes, and we can't forget the port blockers and the firewalls.  Then there's "web bugs" and spyware also that are out to get us.  Pretty soon, my poor computer is going to be so choked up with all the preventative software, that it will probably just die from asphyxiation. .

A couple weeks ago, I couldn't get into one website that all the rest of the world seemed to be able to get into just fine.  Then, a few days later, I couldn't get the stats for my website to show up at the site where I go to view them.  Also, I no longer seem to be able to do mail merges to Outlook contacts from Word.  All of these events, I am sure, are caused by all the armor I have set up in my machine.  If one "safety" software doesn't kill my efforts, another one jumps in to help.  So, I end up turning all this stuff off just so I can get my work done.  So, what good is that?

I listen to some people who are so paranoid about this stuff and I wonder if they are like this in ways not related to their computers?  Can you imagine if we spent this much time in our "real" lives trying to keep this "clean", how sterile our lives would seem?

When I think of what I do to keep my computer safe and try to compare that to the rest of my life, I come up with a daily scenario that sounds like Howard Hughes' routine.  I would probably never leave my house and would only eat food I made in a sterilized kitchen and, lord knows, I would NEVER have *gasp* S-E-X!

Does this mean that people are more protective of their computers than they are of their own lives?  Does it mean that the thought of losing their email is worse than ptomaine poisoning from a hotdog vendor who probably hasn't washed his hands in a week?  Is it really worse to have to format your hard drive than it is to die of AIDS?

All I can say is, we are living in a world of very strange priorities, eh?

Have a great month....and watch out for the REAL ghosties in the world.  Don't let them sneak up behind you while you are sanitizing your computer and too engrossed to notice.  *wink*

Linda

Linda Johnson is a college instructor of all of the Microsoft Office Programs, as well as Adobe PhotoShop and Windows. She also teaches online distance learning classes in Excel, Outlook, PowerPoint, Publisher, and Word at Eclectic Academy. She has worked helpdesk and teaches and lectures at many local businesses and tech schools in her area. Support this newsletter by checking out Linda's eBooks, MS Word MAGIC!, Book I: Fonts, Fun & Formats and Book II: Table Wizardry, How To Get Started As a Software Trainer, and her newest series of MSOffice eBook Tutorials and CD