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ABC ~ All
'Bout Computers
The Online Web-azine for Computer
Enthusiasts
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contents page for this issue
Tweaks, Twiddles, and
Temper Tantrums
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Cap'n Patt
Just outside the southern edge of
Leesburg, Florida, the forest’s prime evil sits at his workbench and
“messes about with computers”. A tiny little business called Gerionics
builds and services computers for the Geriatric Generation. I prefer to
call them “Seasoned Citizens.”
All the foregoing has to do with the
name of the company being “Gerionics” and the company slogan, motto, or
whatever, found beneath the company name on our letterheads and cards,
“Computer Consultants to the Chronologically Advantaged.”
I doubt if many of those who chase
life down the internet highway have ever stopped to consider the growing
percentage of their clan comprised of people who have achieved the
status of Senior Citizen. Their numbers grow by leaps and bounds. Or
perhaps by walkers and canes.
So what’s the big difference between
them and any other computer owner? More than you would ever believe,
should you stop to consider the facts involved. Let’s set a little
scenario. You may consider it hypothetical, I encounter it all the time.
Picture Maude or Harry, sitting in a
recliner watching the endless reruns on the tube while they think about
that adventurous Francine down the street who just bought a new X22
DellWay with Windows XP Home and a eleventeen inch LCD monitor. WOW,
that kid is zoomin! Not only that but she’s printed more recipes for
more stuff than she’ll ever cook and can do the instant messaging thing
with her offspring and friends any time she feels like it. Can’t sleep?
Write to someone or get another recipe. The result: Gotta have one of
those things.
So it’s off to the village computer
place where some turbocharged super-teen rattles off the Gigabytes,
megabytes, Nvidia, AMD, 32s, 64, DoubleD ramstuff and sells them more
computer than they will ever need. Having cinched the sale he nicely
loads the boxes in the car and waves as they drive off.
The catch is simple. That purchaser
is a Seasoned Citizen. It is entirely possible they have never had their
fingers on a keyboard before. With trembling hands they unpack all those
“things” plug all the color coded plugs into the color coded receptacles
and then?????
I have actually had one new purchaser
call me and ask how to turn the computer on. Ten minutes later it was,
“Now how do I get it to do anything”? The fun has just begun.
Consider for a moment. Computers come
pre-packed with proprietary software, (what the heck, you’ve already
bought the thing. Why all the advertising?) Just to make it look like a
major bargain the hard drive is choked with throw-away schlockware, most
of which is about as useless as a third thumb.
My job, as I see it through the eyes
of an elder, one of which I am some, is to reduce the confusion to a
minimum, automate as much as possible, protect to the maximum, and
instruct, instruct, instruct.
To this end the set up of their new
computer starts with the removal of every piece of proprietary stuff I
can find, disabling all splash screens and the cleaning out of every
unnecessary item in the startup portion of MSconfig.
I carry a CD and jump-drive with me,
both containing the same software and utilities. They are the source for
the installation of AdAware 6, Zone Alarm, and Gibson’s AVG downloaded
in advance in the new owner’s name and configured for automatic updates.
Irfanview does everything they will want to do with a photo of little
Charlie Jr. and is far easier than being confronted for the first time
with Paint. Irfanview is set up as the default viewer with all plug-ins.
When they click on a picture, it opens. It’s that simple.
Tweakui goes in, for me, not them. It
can be very handy in a remote situation. Mailwasher, with an explanation
of what it does, and why, is a must for my money. WinZip goes in simply
because I consider it more versatile and more automatic than XPs’
unzipper. A copy of PCForrest startmanager is installed because it’s
good. It’s also a darned sight easier to understand than MSconfig, and
it has all those cute little icons to indicate the files associations.
Then I slip in a copy of
RegistryCompressor for my own use in later remote sessions.. and while
I’m at it I do a quick run on Steve Gibson’s “Kill the Messenger.”
Those are the software basics with
which I attempt to make their lives a little less confusing than mine.
I consider configuring Outlook
Express of prime importance. Simple stuff like arranging the icons on
the toolbar for maximum ease of use, setting up their address book with
my e-mail address in it in order to demonstrate the simplicity of
clicking an address to initiate a new e-mail to the owner of that
address. Making the folder list and the address book visible on the left
helps to simplify usage. Probably the most important thing here is
disable the preview window and teach them to use MailWasher or a similar
previewer religiously.
Finally, I set up their internet
access, put their new e-mail address in their address book and teach
them how to send letters to themselves and teach them to extract the
contact information by clicking on the senders’ address.
I started that last paragraph with
“Finally.” With computers there isn’t much of a finally. Actually, the
last thing is usually setting up a Passport account for them and
configuring MSN so that it is available for remote control usage. Remote
access has saved more time, travel, and headaches than you can imagine.
Being able to work on computers in Arizona, Texas, the Virgin Islands,
as well as local ones, while sitting right here is a kick.
I’m sure most of this looks very
basic to the majority of readers but, consider. With very few exceptions
my clients are all more than 65 years of age and many are confronting a
computer for the first time. The young and very knowledgeable techs
bewilder them. They talk too fast, work too fast, attempt to convey more
information than is required in a minimal amount of time, and leave the
client wondering just what the heck that was all about.
I understand their plight. I’m one of
them
Cap’n Patt
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