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'Bout Computers Tweaks, Twiddles, and
Temper Tantrums Just outside the southern edge of Leesburg, Florida, the forest’s prime evil sits at his workbench and “messes about with computers”. A tiny little business called Gerionics builds and services computers for the Geriatric Generation. I prefer to call them “Seasoned Citizens.” All the foregoing has to do with the name of the company being “Gerionics” and the company slogan, motto, or whatever, found beneath the company name on our letterheads and cards, “Computer Consultants to the Chronologically Advantaged.” I doubt if many of those who chase life down the internet highway have ever stopped to consider the growing percentage of their clan comprised of people who have achieved the status of Senior Citizen. Their numbers grow by leaps and bounds. Or perhaps by walkers and canes. So what’s the big difference between them and any other computer owner? More than you would ever believe, should you stop to consider the facts involved. Let’s set a little scenario. You may consider it hypothetical, I encounter it all the time. Picture Maude or Harry, sitting in a recliner watching the endless reruns on the tube while they think about that adventurous Francine down the street who just bought a new X22 DellWay with Windows XP Home and a eleventeen inch LCD monitor. WOW, that kid is zoomin! Not only that but she’s printed more recipes for more stuff than she’ll ever cook and can do the instant messaging thing with her offspring and friends any time she feels like it. Can’t sleep? Write to someone or get another recipe. The result: Gotta have one of those things. So it’s off to the village computer place where some turbocharged super-teen rattles off the Gigabytes, megabytes, Nvidia, AMD, 32s, 64, DoubleD ramstuff and sells them more computer than they will ever need. Having cinched the sale he nicely loads the boxes in the car and waves as they drive off. The catch is simple. That purchaser is a Seasoned Citizen. It is entirely possible they have never had their fingers on a keyboard before. With trembling hands they unpack all those “things” plug all the color coded plugs into the color coded receptacles and then????? I have actually had one new purchaser call me and ask how to turn the computer on. Ten minutes later it was, “Now how do I get it to do anything”? The fun has just begun. Consider for a moment. Computers come pre-packed with proprietary software, (what the heck, you’ve already bought the thing. Why all the advertising?) Just to make it look like a major bargain the hard drive is choked with throw-away schlockware, most of which is about as useless as a third thumb. My job, as I see it through the eyes of an elder, one of which I am some, is to reduce the confusion to a minimum, automate as much as possible, protect to the maximum, and instruct, instruct, instruct. To this end the set up of their new computer starts with the removal of every piece of proprietary stuff I can find, disabling all splash screens and the cleaning out of every unnecessary item in the startup portion of MSconfig. I carry a CD and jump-drive with me, both containing the same software and utilities. They are the source for the installation of AdAware 6, Zone Alarm, and Gibson’s AVG downloaded in advance in the new owner’s name and configured for automatic updates. Irfanview does everything they will want to do with a photo of little Charlie Jr. and is far easier than being confronted for the first time with Paint. Irfanview is set up as the default viewer with all plug-ins. When they click on a picture, it opens. It’s that simple. Tweakui goes in, for me, not them. It can be very handy in a remote situation. Mailwasher, with an explanation of what it does, and why, is a must for my money. WinZip goes in simply because I consider it more versatile and more automatic than XPs’ unzipper. A copy of PCForrest startmanager is installed because it’s good. It’s also a darned sight easier to understand than MSconfig, and it has all those cute little icons to indicate the files associations. Then I slip in a copy of RegistryCompressor for my own use in later remote sessions.. and while I’m at it I do a quick run on Steve Gibson’s “Kill the Messenger.” Those are the software basics with which I attempt to make their lives a little less confusing than mine. I consider configuring Outlook Express of prime importance. Simple stuff like arranging the icons on the toolbar for maximum ease of use, setting up their address book with my e-mail address in it in order to demonstrate the simplicity of clicking an address to initiate a new e-mail to the owner of that address. Making the folder list and the address book visible on the left helps to simplify usage. Probably the most important thing here is disable the preview window and teach them to use MailWasher or a similar previewer religiously. Finally, I set up their internet access, put their new e-mail address in their address book and teach them how to send letters to themselves and teach them to extract the contact information by clicking on the senders’ address. I started that last paragraph with “Finally.” With computers there isn’t much of a finally. Actually, the last thing is usually setting up a Passport account for them and configuring MSN so that it is available for remote control usage. Remote access has saved more time, travel, and headaches than you can imagine. Being able to work on computers in Arizona, Texas, the Virgin Islands, as well as local ones, while sitting right here is a kick. I’m sure most of this looks very basic to the majority of readers but, consider. With very few exceptions my clients are all more than 65 years of age and many are confronting a computer for the first time. The young and very knowledgeable techs bewilder them. They talk too fast, work too fast, attempt to convey more information than is required in a minimal amount of time, and leave the client wondering just what the heck that was all about. I understand their plight. I’m one of
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